And how could he eat that many cookies and drink that much milk? Wouldn't some of the milk be nasty by the time he got there, especially sitting next to the fireplace? The mere thought of room-temperature milk makes me throw up a little.
On a more local scale, I wondered how I could see him at the "Bon Marche" on the same day that my buddy sat on his lap at "Frederick and Nelson."
Could he be in two places at once?
I didn't think so, but it turned out I was wrong about that
When I moved in with the future Mrs. Fallihee in 2005, she set up a table with several Christmas pictures. Sitting side-by-side, in identical frames, were photos of both me and her sitting on Santa's lap.
I was born in Portland, Oregon, while my wife was raised in Mobile, Alabama, 2,766 miles away (thank you Google Maps).
The pictures had been up for a few days, mostly unnoticed by me, which is typical. Then one day I glanced at the nicely framed photos and was struck by something mysterious, magical, and seemingly impossible.
It was the same Santa was in both pictures.
Santa Claus, defying all known rules of logic and physics, does in fact visit every child in the world, or at least in Mobile and Portland. The proof is in the schnozzle.
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